Wednesday, August 29, 2007

KNOCKED UP
Knocked me up!

Ligeramente embarazada en verdad es una de las mejores películas, Allison trabaja en E! y tiene un futuro prometedor, en una noche de copas se acuesta con Ben y resulta un embarazo. No es el momento más conveniente cuando debes estás a punto de ser la nueva host de E! y mucho menos cuando el futuro padre es un huevón drogadicto pero con un GRAN corazón. Se doblaran de risa más de 100 000 veces, en verdad una de las películas más increiblemente cómicas que he visto. A MUST SEE. Una de las mejores películas que he visto en los últimos diez años.

VER TRAILER


Debbie: I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line, who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls. What, am I not skanky enough for you, you want me to hike up my fucking skirt? What the fuck is your problem? I'm not going anywhere, you're just some roided out freak with a fucking clipboard. And your stupid little fucking rope! You know what, you may have power now but you are not God. You're a doorman, okay?. You're a doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, so... Fuck You! You fucking fag with your fucking little faggy gloves.
Doorman: I know... you're right. I'm so sorry, I fuckin' hate this job. I don't want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. Shit makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, not you know, for the earth.
Debbie: What?
Doorman: You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, five percent that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a black midget in the crowd.
Debbie: Now I feel guilty



Martin: Fuck me in the beard.
Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.
Alison Scott: I was drunk!
Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?

Jay: Because your face looks like a vagina.
Ben's Dad: (On marihuana) If it grows from the ground, it's probably okay.
Pete: Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.
Debbie: You think because you don't yell, you're not mean. This is mean.
Debbie: [on subject of husbands] You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!
Ben's Dad: Life doesn't care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it.

Pete: Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't even accept that? I don't think I can accept pure love.
Ben's Dad: I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Ben Stone: I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Ben's Dad: Yes.
Ben Stone: Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for YOU...

Debbie: Who is that guy? Is that Ben's Rabbi?
Pete: I think it's Matisyahu.
Pete: You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter.
[sobbing and thinking about the babysitter]
Debbie: She is such a prissy little high school cu... cunt!
Jason: You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.
Ben Stone: Steely Dan can gargle my balls.
Pete: [taking his hand out of his mouth after doing magic mushrooms] Tastes like a rainbow.

Dr. Pellagrino: [after staring at Allison's vagina for the gynecology appointment] Wow, you do look like your sister!
Ben Stone: Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool.
Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit! Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!

Pete: [quoting ‘Back to the Future’] Where we're going we don't need roads.
Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.
Ben Stone: [Mimicks car noise] VRRROOOOM
Pete: You mean like Mr. Skin?
Ben Stone: Who's Mr. Skin?
Pete: You know, Mr. Skin...
Fantasy Baseball Guy #1: Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out!
Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!
Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

Debbie: [to Ben and Pete at dinner] Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.
Pete: Who needs a time machine?
Debbie: [to Alison] Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?

Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off!
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?
Pete: You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth.
Ben Stone: [during earthquake] FUCK ME!
Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog.
Ben Stone: It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.
Alison Scott: Just do it!
Ben Stone: [explaining the conception to their newborn baby] …and then your Mommy said, "Just do it already!" which was very confusing to Daddy, so I took the most literal translation. [quietly]

Ben Stone: But between you and me, it was the smartest thing I ever did, 'cause now you're here.

Pete: [high on 'shrooms] Did you know there's a guy whose sole job is to find chairs for these hotel rooms?
Ben Stone: Please take the chairs away.
Pete: Like this one! It's red with gold stripes and - [sits]
Pete: - oh, this one is amazing!
Ben Stone: Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.
Jill: Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.
Sadie: Where do babies come from?
Debbie: Where do you think they come from?
Sadie: Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your button falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.
Debbie: That's exactly right.


Martin: I think he's using the dice move a bit too much.
Jay: I think that's pretty much all he's got.

Ben Stone: Now that's how you get pink eye.

Ben Stone: Fuck you, hormones!
Jonah: Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.
Ben Stone: Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.


Ben Stone: [to bartender] You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderama.

Ben Stone: I live in your phone!

Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Ben Stone: [whispers] Did we have sex?
Ben Stone: Nice.

Ben Stone: If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."
Martin: Thanks for the free money, Bitch.

Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't...
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Pregnant... with emotion?
Alison Scott: Pregnant with a baby.

Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we...
Ben Stone: You weren't chosen for a reason.
[during a check-up]

Female Doctor: Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole.

Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!
Alison Scott: I'm actually doing my first on-air interview today.
Ben Stone: With who?
Alison Scott: Uh, Matthew Fox.
Ben Stone: Matthew Fox from Lost?
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: You know what's interesting about him?
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: Nothing!

Ben Stone: [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birthday party and Sadie answers] Hey!
Sadie: Where have you been?
Ben Stone: Oh, you know... Around.
Sadie: Why is everyone so mad at you?
Ben Stone: They are? What are they saying?
Sadie: Oh, you know. Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a prick. What's that mean?
Ben Stone: Penis.
Sadie: Penis. [Sadie nods her head and then giggles] Penis.
Martin: Do you ever get so bored, you just stare at your balls?
Jonah: I bet you do, late John Lennon.
[after looking at Ben's website]

Debbie: He spelled "coming" wrong. Oh that's "cu...” Oh that's gross!

Ben Stone: [while tripping on mushrooms] Isn't weird how chairs exist even when you're not sitting on them?
Ben Stone: Oh yeah... It's a girl. Buy some pink shit!

Sadie: I googled murder.
Ben Stone: [Alison's friends see she's pregnant] You know how they say to never drink and drive? Well, never drink and bone.

Pete: I wish I could enjoy anything the way my kids enjoy bubbles.
Ben Stone: That's sad.
Pete: Their smiling faces point out my inability to enjoy life.
James Franco: If this is one of those fucking joke shows then I'm not into it.
Pete: [to Ben Stone] Marriage is like that show ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’, but it’s not funny. All the problems are the same, but [pause]
Pete: you know instead of all the funny, pithy dialogue, everybody is really pissed off and tense.
Brent: [about Alison's vomiting] You sound like Jabba the Hut dying.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

que ocio... de asco

Anonymous said...

De plano mi amor..esa pelicula no le iba a ver porque me daba harta hueva...decía que era una mamada..y no precísamente de las deliciosas, jajajajaja.

Pero solo porque tu lo recomiendas lo haré.

Bitch!! me tienes abandonada, ni un correo, un e mail un mensaje...de plano te desapareces muy cabrón, la verdad es que he tenido un buen de trabajo pero por fortuna me va de poca madre...no sabes lo ando disfrutando como loca, pero para eso es la vida, a qué no???

Que onda mi amor a ver cuándo nos vamos de zorras a comernos unos culitos, no?? jajajajaja, ya regresaste a la radio?

Te adoro..ya no me tengas tan abandonada......

p.d. te voy a mandar una cosa a tu correo para que lo revises y no lo borres.

LA ULTRA QUE TE AMA Y ADORA

Yo mera said...

De plano mi amor..esa pelicula no le iba a ver porque me daba harta hueva...decía que era una mamada..y no precísamente de las deliciosas, jajajajaja.

Pero solo porque tu lo recomiendas lo haré.

Bitch!! me tienes abandonada, ni un correo, un e mail un mensaje...de plano te desapareces muy cabrón, la verdad es que he tenido un buen de trabajo pero por fortuna me va de poca madre...no sabes lo ando disfrutando como loca, pero para eso es la vida, a qué no???

Que onda mi amor a ver cuándo nos vamos de zorras a comernos unos culitos, no?? jajajajaja, ya regresaste a la radio?

Te adoro..ya no me tengas tan abandonada......

p.d. te voy a mandar una cosa a tu correo para que lo revises y no lo borres.

LA ULTRA QUE TE AMA Y ADORA

Capitán Guayaba said...

La neta nunca se me han antojado ese tipo de pelis, y siguen sin antojárseme, pero bueno, te creo que haya sido buena, a ver cuando te das una vuelta por mi blog cabron, o nos vamos a chingar unas cheves. Un abrazo.

20Th Century Boy said...

Pos me gusto pero no asi de "wow me cambio la vida y quiero ser papa" pero es buena sobre todod cuando trata a las nenas (sobrinas) como perros jajaja.

Hitlercito said...

¿para los que no tengan youtube? , excelente, será aplicado para el glorioso ascenso del proletariado alemán